466. I Have A Big Question For You

On this episode, Nellie has a big question for you! She emphasizes the importance of following instructions, using the analogy of GPS navigation. She discusses how ignoring guidance, such as not following recipes or furniture assembly instructions, can lead to frustration and inefficiency. Nellie highlights that many people, including those with ADHD, struggle with this but stresses the value of listening to mentors and support systems. She argues that taking responsibility for one's actions and utilizing available resources, like mentors and courses, can lead to better outcomes. Nellie encourages self-reflection and accountability, suggesting that overcoming excuses and limiting beliefs can unlock potential and lead to success.

We will touch on:

• GPS Analogy and Its Relevance to Life
• The Importance of Following Instructions
• Real-Life Examples and Personal Reflections
• The Role of Mentors and Support Systems
• Overcoming Excuses and Embracing Responsibility
• The Value of Following a Framework
• The Messy Middle and Overcoming Challenges
• The Importance of Regulation and Alignment
• The Role of a Mentor in Achieving Success
• Encouragement and Final Thoughts

Let's Take Some Action:

• Reflect on areas in your life where you tend to not follow instructions or advice, and identify the reasons why.
• Seek out mentors or resources that can provide guidance and support, and commit to following their advice and strategies.

Transcript

Unknown: 1:23

I'm driving home from my VIP day, and I just started giggling because I'm like, apparently I'm supposed to share this message, because this got brought up at family dinner last night. And I thought about it again on my drive, and I was like, okay, surely one person that's always my goal, one person at a time. Surely there's one person that needs to hear this. They may not want to hear it, but they need to hear it. And so the big million dollar question is, have you ever found yourself driving and your GPS tells you to go a different way than you anticipated? And you're really deciding, should I listen to the GPS, or should I say f it and go the way that I know to go? This can also show up when you're building furniture. This can also show up when you are following, like a recipe in the kitchen. And this is a really big, like ADHD thing, where ADHD ers have a hard time normally, not always, but normally following directions, like we want to just, you know, do it our own way, not because, like we think, you know, our way is always better. It's just like a brain. It's just a brain thing. But I don't know about you, but anytime I do not listen to my GPS, and then I'm stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, I'm like, oh, I should have listened. And then I learn and I like, listen to my GPS the next time. And that actually happened today, where it was literally in real time, rerouting me. And it's it had a button literally on my GPS that says, Do you want it to reroute? But you had a certain amount of time to press yes or no or it was just going to automatically reroute. And so I was like, I am not. I am not, you know, getting stuck in traffic. It must know something that I don't know with my viewpoint, right being in the car. It's using data. It's using, you know, other people that are on the the direction the GPS app. And so I let it reroute me, and it did add five minutes, five extra minutes, and I am in a little bit of traffic now, but it's different traffic, and it's like rush hour, so like, this is kind of inevitable, but the the GPS said there was like a big object on the road, and it was like getting things backed up. And so the alternative route did add five extra minutes, but if I would have not listened to the GPS, who knows, I could have been stuck for an hour, right, like, and I already have to pee like, that's not an option. And if I use my past experiences of not listening to my GPS, right? And be like, okay, know thyself. No past experiences. Don't rinse and repeat things that you know, you know you get frustrated about. So I bring all of this up because, like I said, it shows up when we're following recipes in the kitchen. It can show up when we're building furniture. Now, some people are like, to a T, they're going to follow the instructions. They're going to, you know, trust the GPS, and that's awesome. But there is a bulk group of people that, even if it's not all three, you know, building, building, furniture instructions and GPS, it might be, like, one or two of them where you're like, Nope, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do what I want to do. So anywho, I bring all of this up, because if you do fall into the I'm not always going to listen. I'm going to, you know, add my own ingredients, or not pay attention to the instructions and just do like to build the build the furniture. It's going to do what I want. You can't be mad if you don't get the desired result. Literally, the Blueprint was right there in front of you, how to make the brownies, how to make the cake, how to reroute and still get to your destination with as much, you know, as stress free as possible, right to build the furniture so it actually, you know, functions and all of those things. And so I've caught myself mad that the brownies don't taste well, so like I'm talking with you, not at you. Like I've been mad or annoyed or frustrated that the furniture doesn't look how it's supposed to, or sitting in traffic. And so there does become a point where we need to, like, we get to take some responsibility, because the Blueprint was right there. And wouldn't you know, it nine times out of 10 when I follow the instructions to make the brownies, they taste pretty good. Or when I follow the instructions to make the furniture, it works right there may be like. A few areas that I have to fix, but maybe I didn't interpret the instructions correctly, or the GPS reroutes me, and it still adds, you know, five extra minutes, but that's not so bad in the grand scheme of things. So all this to say is, when you are enrolling support, whether that be a mentor or a team member, or you're watching a course, reading a book, and you don't take the blueprint, right? You don't take the recipe, and you don't implement the recipe, and then you're still frustrated with your current reality. You got to take some responsibility, right? And, equally, humor yourself, right? What do you have to lose by you know, maybe the mentor has a different perspective that you're not aware of because you're in the car, and the mentor is like zoomed out, and they're the GPS, and they're using all of their data to give you the best, sound advice the mentor wants you to win. You are their responsibility in a lot of ways, and also your success story. You're they want to do good, right? They want to serve and support you. They win when you win. And so they're not blowing smoke up your bud. They're not wasting your time or their time by telling you, hey, I really think you'd benefit from many launching, right, like doing a mini launch, creating content, creating offers, right? You don't love that. You're broke right now, okay, here's a recipe. Or you want to make more money, here's a recipe. And so there's still, you know, some playing with the ingredients, or some patience involved. But can you imagine if I was trying to get from my VIP day to home without a GPS? One, I would have so much anxiety. Two, I can guarantee you I would not be getting home in a timely manner. And I actually had that moment when I was leaving the VIP day because my GPS wasn't working. And I was like, it says that I have full bars. Like, why is this not working? And I was like, am I going to have to figure this out? And I'm like, so there's a tool, a resource, right as a support system right there. And I had a moment where I was just like, don't let me down. GPS, don't let me down. I want to get to my family. I want to go, you know, get uncomfortable clothes and relax and, you know, get in the hot tub and all the things. Like, I have a whole vision for how I want tonight to go. And so it finally worked. And I was like, Oh, thank God. So I really wanted to bring this up, because we taught as a family. We talked about this last night because Emma and I were making a cake. And she was like, let's put all the ingredients together. I was like, hold on, let's read the instructions. And Jared, my husband started laughing, because I have a track record of not doing that. And so it was he like, started laughing. And he was like, Yeah, I'm always going to use he's much different than me. He's like, Yeah, I'm always going to use the instructions because they're there for me to be successful. And I was like, I understand that, right? Like, so if you're stubborn like me, and you find yourself not doing that, it could also still be showing up in more important ways, right? Like, if you're not following instructions with making a recipe or building furniture or GPS, not always, but sometimes that type of behavior can be showing up in your business and in your health and fitness, in your relationships, like people want you to win. The Universe wants you to win. It's giving you the tips, the tricks, the resources, the software, right? Like we live in such a day and age where there's never been a better time for a busy mom to make money. Like social media is a huge, huge privilege that we have at our fingertips. We get to use it to our advantage. There's mentors like myself that have put in the time perfected a framework, that have experience of what to do and, most importantly, what not to do. Learn from my mistakes, learn from my challenges or not, right? And so you get to decide, are you going to follow a recipe? Are you going to follow the instructions, or are you going to ignore the GPS and say, I'm going to, I'm going to, I know how to get home. I'm not going to pay attention to the GPS. Surely the GPS doesn't know anything, and you may not be wording it that way, but like, notice your behavior and a mentor relationship, specifically, like, get on a call or telegram or in person, right? And you're like, doing all the things. You're like, this feels really good. I've got this right? And then you just, like, throw it all out the window. And you like, you, you don't listen to the ingredients, right? You don't listen to the recipe. You don't follow. The recipe, and then you're mad, and then you come back to the GPS, or you come back to the mentor, and you're like, nothing's working, right? And so the more you can pay attention to your behavior, you can change your behavior no matter what it is, whether it's this or something else, you hold all the power. You are creating your reality in real time. Even if you're choosing not to create it, you're creating it right? Like, the same is true about manifesting. Everyone's manifesting every single day. You just may not be intentionally manifesting. So like, for example, I have a vision of how I'm manifesting my evening manifesting doesn't mean you get exactly what you want. There is some intention, there is some alignment, there is some like, strategy involved, and also flexibility. Of like, you know, my kids may take a little bit longer to get to bed, so that may prolong, like, my vision for how I want this evening to go, but at least setting myself up for as much success as I can can be really, really helpful to give it a better shot to happen. So I just want you to think about that and reflect and be super honest with yourself, of like, do you have some room for improvement? Of your paying for advice, whether it's a book, a course, one on one group, you're paying for advice. How much are you following the recipe? How many times are you asking, Hey, can you clarify this part of the recipe? Right? Like I want to know more. I want to follow it to a tea. And then you add your icing and your sprinkles. Those are the extras. That's that's like the customization. But in order to add the icing and add the sprinkles to the cake, you've got to follow the recipe of the cake. I have forgotten vegetable oil, vegetable oil and a cake. And if you've done that, it tastes off, or I've put canola How do you say that canola oil in it instead of vegetable oil, and it tastes off, right? And so there is some like tweaking and modifying and taste testing, if you will, but follow the recipe. It's there for a reason, whether it's me as your mentor or somebody else, use it to your advantage. They want to help you. They want to see you win. But at the end of the day, like you, following the recipe is your responsibility, right? Like, if you think of Betty Crocker, Betty Crocker's job is to put out the best brownies, right? The all the options. You go down the aisle, you pick the brownies that you want, you buy them. That's their job. Their job is to present you the best brownies. Give you the ingredients, like, obviously, outside of like the egg and the oil and the water, but like, give you the ingredients. Tell you how to put everything together, and give you extras, like the icing and the sprinkles, even sometimes. But your job is to put it together that that box of brownies could sit in the pantry for a year. Two years it expires, then you got to throw it out. That's not Betty Crocker's fault. It's it's your responsibility. And so just the more and more I take extreme responsibility, Extreme Ownership, of creating and manifesting the reality that I truly, deeply desire and deserve, and I know that I'm capable of it like I think that that's the biggest thing, like, I know what I'm capable of, and I owe it to myself to match that capability with the proper actions needed to make that happen. So open up the box of brownies, follow the recipe. If you need a recipe, I've got you. If you need support, I've got you. But take a moment to reflect and really understand that the recipe and recipes are out there waiting for you, and sometimes we get in our own way, but we can easily, quickly get out of our own way if we choose to. So I am really excited for you, because so much can happen so quickly when you really take that extreme responsibility and don't shame yourself from the process. Like, that's why we were, like, giggling as a family last night. And I loved that it like, showed back up for me today with the GPS, because I was like, Oh, I really don't, I don't want to reroute, but I'm, I've, I've been bitten the butt before, right? Like, it's like, okay, Waze knows best. Go ahead and pay attention. Listen, listen, listen. And so I just urge you and encourage you to listen to your mentor, not as your boss, but they're giving you advice for a reason. They're guiding you. They're supporting you. They want to see you win, but if you're getting in the way, or if you're not implementing what they're saying, like, hey, go do this. Or try this, or come back to me, right, like you get to do your part for this partnership to work, and when you do magic, magic, magic, magic. And equally, there may be a reason subconsciously that you're not implementing the things, like you you logically desire to implement, right? You have the best intentions. And sometimes we band aid that with like, oh, I don't have the time, I don't have the energy. Or, like, you know, I'm waiting on this that the other which there can be truth in everything, obviously, like, I always think that there's truth and, you know, excuses and limiting beliefs, and there's something there, right? There's truth and meaning in things. But I think we take that at face value, and then we just don't, we don't push back, and I encourage you to push back on your excuses, push back on the stories that you're telling yourself, because you may just not feel safe yet around implementing those things, and that's another thing that you can come to your mentor with and say, Hey, I'm calling myself forward. You've given me great advice. I keep saying I don't have the time, I don't have the energy, and there must be a reason why. And this is not directed towards anyone, but this is just like intuitively showing up for me. I will always be patient with who I work with. I will never force you to do anything. I will. I'll never beg you to do anything that's not my job. And equally, I can, I can actually do more harm than good. And so I never, ever force anything that's been a big, important piece for me. But like, you getting curious with like, Huh? I keep getting this great advice. I keep getting excited, but then something happens, like you get in your own head, and then you, you mask it with, oh, I'm busy. I have too many clients my kids are, you know, doing this that the other again, there is truth in excuses. But equally, if Taylor Swift gave you free concert tickets for this weekend, you would figure it out. You would find the way to get there. So the why has to be stronger than the excuses for you to persevere through the messy middle. And so when you can have that driving force, you can really break through a lot of limiting beliefs really quickly, a lot of self sabotage really quickly. And once your brain knows that you're safe, it will start to regulate itself. It's kind of like, if you've ever walked into your home and it's really freezing and it needs to be warm, it takes a little bit of time, but then eventually it's warm, and you're like, Oh, thank God. And then it stays warm, right? As long as you don't, like, open up a bunch of doors and windows and you keep the temperature at what it what it is. So like, you regulating towards your next level, your wealthiest life. It's very, very similar. So there is, I call it the messy middle. And so if you find yourself not implementing and creating the real time progress that you're wanting, and we're masking it with excuses. Get super curious. Go to your mentor say, like, this is I need to work through this like you're giving me great advice and strategy and support, and I'm not implementing I'm not following through. And there's a reason why. And not only do I want to get to the bottom of it, because I don't think you always need to, like, know all of the answers, but working through it, right? You may not, you may not get to all of the answers, but you unpacking and discovering, like, there is a block there, and then working through it and creating a way to have a different habit, right? Like, I kept making excuses for not getting walks in or runs in, and it was a bluff. And so, you know, again, there's truth and like, yeah, my kids take up a lot of my time. I want, like, I want to walk at a certain time or run at a certain time, and then I just realized, like, I just need to meet myself where I'm at, and I just need to make it happen. And so I worked through that block so quickly with not necessarily, like, trying to figure out the reason why, but more so I don't want this result. So therefore, I'm going to work on creating a different reality for myself. So you could work on unpacking the why, of like, why am I doing this? And equally, I think you know the why will reveal itself in real time, but you can't force that to happen. And really the the best thing that I know to do is start to to. To shift into a different way of being and regulating around that, and then your brain will start to get on board, and then it will feel so, so so much easier for that to be your reality, right? Like at one point, I'm sure a certain amount of money felt scary to spend, whether it was$100 $500 $1,000 like, even yesterday, I had a consultation for some dental work that I need done, and, oh, shoot, I'm in the wrong way. Um, they gave me a quote, and they're like, insurance will cover about like 80% of it, but it's probably still going to be about, like,$500 and I remember just standing there being like, Oh, okay. Like, we can handle that. And college v would have been like, that's my rent for a month. Like, how the heck I'm living paycheck to paycheck? How? How am I going to make that happen? Right? So you just like that, you regulate around different levels of money, wealth and health and happiness and being more comfortable with who you are, like anything that you desire, it takes some regulation, which there is that messy middle, and really that's where A mentor can be so incredibly valuable to hold you, be with you in the messy middle, like how I felt giving birth for the first time was extremely different than the second time. I knew more of what to expect. I knew what questions to ask. I knew how to speak up for myself. I I trusted myself more. I knew what, you know, medications I wanted and didn't want. And so that came with time, right? And so a mentor is so valuable for the messy middle and even after. But I think the juiciness and the most value can come when they can be with you in the messy middle, because they also can be accountability for you. Because it can be so incredibly easy to give up in the messy middle, and unfortunately, I see so many people give up in the messy middle, and it makes my heart so sad, because the messy middle doesn't have to be painful, it doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to be exhausting, but, like, it's kind of like the awkward years of like, middle school, like when you got visits and you're, like, in braces and like, but then those things start to lift, and then you start to feel you start to feel better. Do you love all of my examples? So it could just be really helpful to have that like, support system and that love and that reassurance of, like, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay. You've got this, right? Follow the framework, follow the recipe, follow the instructions. I'm here for you. I love you, right? Like it's the vibes and the strategy, and that's what I'm going for. So if you need a mentor, I'm here, and I love you, and you do have this like you absolutely can and will make anything happen that you put your mind to. And just know that it will be messy and it won't be perfect. And that's like, the exciting part about it.